psycheflower

Hello Readers,
This is my last post, as the bet is now officially over. I was going to write about a life quandary that recently happened to me, but considering that most people who read this are already aware of it, I'll say something new:

Every time I see a rhinestone peace sign, my heart dies. 
It just seems so hypocritical and trendy.
It is really disheartening.

Anyway, this blog has been fun at times, and annoying obligative (not actually a word) at times, and in the end I figured that sitting on the computer is not as much fun as walking my dog, which is the alternative. So, goodbye. I will probably not be back for a long while...

Hello Readers,

I have a tye-dye iPod.
I just thought that I should put that out there.


Today was a good day.
Heidi (FairyGlamour) and I filled out an application for wife swap.
We got inspiration from various friends as well.

Is it totally assy to fill out a prank application? That is the assiest show to begin with. Even though I secretly love it.

The "family" was composed of characters from British Literature class in the "worst books I (we) never read"
"Worst books I never read" = books that you did not actually take the time to read, but you skimmed sparknotes and/or were tested on them. You have an idea of the book, and severely dislike it.

So the family is composed of characters from The Hobbit, Robinson Crusoe, and Wuthering Heights.* Robinson Crusoe, Biliba (not bilbo, she is a girl) Baggins Crusoe, Xury Crusoe, Friday Crusoe, and Linton Crusoe.

* Wurthering Heights might actually be good, we just never took the time to read it.

I hope they seriously consider us for the show. Cross your fingers, toes, hairs, stomch lining. Cross everything!

Hello Readers,
Today was a good day.
It is on the brink of not being a good day, though. When I was little, my mom would never let me get on the computer when it was raining. I think because lighting could strike you through the keys and kill you. There is probably a much more logical reason for this, but for some reason I believed (and still do. so, believe) that the keys could electrocute you. Anyway, its raining right now, and I'm being extremely careful about touching the keys.
In the background, I can hear Wife Swap on TV.
... setting the scene.

So I am driving home down my street at a roaring 20 miles per hour. The speed limit actually just got changed to 15 mph because some parents are paranoid that their children will get squashed by a car. Maybe... they should teach their children not to run out into the street when a car comes, or to lie down in the middle of the street because its so freaking hilarious to make a car stop short and almost kill you. MAYBE parents should tell their kids not to do that. Or maybe, here is a novel idea, USE YOUR BACKYARD. Or the front yard. Its 243489348329849 times more fun to play on grass than concrete.
No, parents of these barbaric children have a more logical idea. Instead of teaching their children about social norms AND not killing themselves, they lower the speed limit to make every car go slower and conform to their child's behavior, instead of correcting it.
Plus, this whole speed limit change is not actually a legal thing. Technically, you cannot get ticketed for going over 15 mph. Some rich parents just decided that everyone needs to get outrun by snails.
So really, if I had enough money, I could make pretend speed limit signs and put them around the neighborhood. They could say "Speed Limit: Whatever. We're on the fucking autobahn!" Maybe then the kids would get out of the street.

Then again, I myself have almost been killed by the stupid girls who believe that BMWs are indestructable. I may have made up that word... Anyway, there are these two twins girls, and I think they intentionally plan to blindly hit as many people/mailboxes/other cars as possible. You would think by the fourth totaled car (in ONE month) they would understand. I think their parents stopped buying them white cars, because they show blood.
Thought process: "Aw man, your victims splattered blood on your car. Blood stains are a bitch to get out. New car time! Let's go with a darker color, like black or dark blue. Perfect!"

Anyway, that issue has absolutely nothing to do with the premise of my story. I don't really feel like telling it anymore so...

Have a good day tomorrow, everyone! Don't get killed and you'll be fine. 

Hello Readers,
I'll assume that you have had a good weekend. I know I did.
Except for almost killing myself, accidentally of course.
I haven't laughed as hard as when I saw this: I was looking down on Jackson Square in New Orleans, and all of a sudden I saw a pack of segways with tourists on them, lead by a tour guide.

SERIOUSLY.

SEGWAYS.

My computer is named Targus. Targus does not even recognize "segway" as a real word and puts a squiggly red line under it. Good work, Targus.

I can understand handicapped people using segways, but seriously. Able-bodied tourists? There were about fifteen of them. From my vantage point, I was able to laugh openly. I wonder how many people stare/laugh/cry as they zoom by.

The only legit person allowed to ride a segway and not be openly ridiculed is Gob Bluth.

Use your feet, people. If you really don't want to walk, ride a bike. I would go so far as to say I would rather see a Heeley tour than a segway tour. As least they are less obnoxious. I did some research on this, and apparently "City Segway Tours is proud to be the first guided tour using Segways in the world!" Wow. They are proud! Link?
And Remember: "Be sure you glide with the original - City Segway Tours!" 
Glide was definately the word to use. Glide like a graceful swan.

On a completely separate note, IMPORTANT THINGS WITH DEMETRI MARTIN WEDNESDAY COMEDY CENTRAL 10:30/9:30C WATCH IT.

Hello Readers,
Official ones, real life livejournal ones. Thanks, Heidi!
And thanks for all those who are actually reading this.

Today was a good day, as always.
Even though I got a freaking baby pool cut. You know, those plastic ones, usually blue and almost always decorated with cartoon characters? They sell them outside of Wall-Mart.
Well, beware. If you, like me, have one for your dog, and are cleaning it out, do not even put your hand near the edge. Its usually rounded over, so normal human beings don't cut their hands off on the inside edge.
But not me. Oh, no, I got my finger practically sliced off with that thing. That is a little bit of an exageration, exxageration ... spelling? Um. Its a little bit of a hyperbole.
Paper cuts are to baby pool cuts as a headache is to your brain literally self-destructing inside of your head and then lighting itself on fire.
Then putting out the fire and putting the ashes in a blender with nails, as well as the rest of your body.

It hurts.

But, its Friday! This mere fact makes up for everything that has ever gone wrong in my life. Fridays are the best things ever. And you know what else? The wildflowers are starting to grow back from winter. It's warming up (in Louisiana at least.) Those flowers are ideal for making hairpieces / veils. YES!

Have a good weekend, everyone. Stay safe, stay alive.
... and don't reference lame movies.

Hello Readers,
This can officially be plural because I have two readers: Heidi and Kayla.
And I'm sure George Harrison keeps tabs on people who use his picture as an icon from the afterlife. Considering that he was Hindu, I'm not sure if he would be in the afterlife at this point. Maybe he was reincarnated? I'm not totally sure of the beliefs of the Hindu religion. Isn't that sad? I wish we took religious education courses in school about the religions of the world.  I'm sure some colleges offer this, considering that Princeton offers "Getting Dressed." That's important. 

Anyway, I the reason why have not written in a few days (don't pretend like you didn't notice) is because Heidi did not eat school lunch, and I refused to blog without it. Essentially, Heidi eats school lunch, I blog. And she didn't eat school lunch.
So that concept is simplified in its most rudimentary sense.

Today was a good day.
I did not have ONE animal attack. Not even Stains. (Don't look directly at his eyes.)

In case one of my two readers was vaguely interested in my car music situation, I ended up getting one of those cassette players that plug into your iPod and play music through the stereo. They are incredible. I got mine for like, 20 bucks, which is approximately 80 less than a normal adapter. Plus, its insanely easy to set up. I had issues putting the tape in the player with the cord and all, but if you have the intelligence of a peice of cheese with learning disabilites or higher, you can figure it out. And now I am in a state of euphoria. Win-win.

I have this undeniable feeling that Michael Cera will not make the Arrested Development Movie and end up making like, Nick and Nora's Infinate Playlist II or something lame like that. Come on!
Yesterday I boycotted all Micheal Cera products. My Micheal Cera bedsheets and comforter duvet set were neatly folded and put into the garbage.
That is a lie. 
Boycotting Michael Cera merchandise is not a hard thing to do, espically for only a few hours. I was mainly just vowing to never see another Micheal Cera movie for the rest of my life if he does not do this one little thing for me, which is become George Michael for one last time. I guess the general fan's feelings can be summed up here. Or here.

Bye for now. Good luck until tomorrow. I guarantee you can make it out alive. Happy Thursday.

Hello reader,

(I'd make that plural, but lets be realistic)

 

My name is Elizabeth.

I started this blog as because my friend Heidi (fairyglamour, you know her) dared me to blog for a week. So here I am. She also set up a twitter for me, but nothing really came of it. 

I do, however, have an active account on weheartit, which I am somewhat obsessed with.

 

Let me introduce myself:

Even though I was born a human, I really want to be a flower.

On occasion I convince people that I actually am a flower.

If you were to picture me typing this right now, picture a giant flower typing with its leaves.

I would prefer to be a sunflower, but those are not easily worn in people's hair. I have long hair that hasn't been cut by a professional hair-cutter in forever (I give myself trims occasionally) and is adorned with flowers as much as possible. This is my attempt to become flower-like.

Realistically, I want to travel back in time and BE Janis Joplin. Or Grace Slick.

 

I am joining the Peace Corps after college and maybe even do Demetri Martin-style jokes on guitar for morale.

 

The other day on failblog, this person took a screenshot of yahoo answers and the question was, "At what age should I start teaching my dog about sex?" I laughed for about 3 years.  I can picture somebody sitting down with their dog and telling him/her, "When a man and woman love each other very much…"

My dog, Hans, would not stand for that. He is a Labrador retriever and he is like 39df934324843 years old. He is the oldest dog ever; he is Paleolithic. His full name is Hans Christian Anderson. He has one black spot, which leads us to believe that he had a Dalmatian ancestor.

Hans is full of wisdom and good ideas. He is too mature to play with dogs toys, he never eats, but he loves wearing bandanas. He can read. I like Hans more than I like most humans. He is definitely my best non-human friend. 

 

I also like books, probably more than I like air. The other day, my friend was examining my house (too closely, I think) and she remarked that may house had a lot of books, artwork, and candles. Ignore the fact that this is a fire hazard. Those are the things that I try to surround my life with. And music. Music for the ears, art for the eyes, candles for the nose, and books for the…mind? I'm leaving out senses. Touch … taste …um. I don’t really use those. 

 

So I guess that is me, or what you should know about me, now on with the post …

 

Today was a good day. If you didn't die, it’s a good day. When you go to bed every night, think to yourself "Phew, I made it." We live in a dangerous world.

Today, however, may even be considered extraordinary.

...And not only because I am no longer a live journal virgin. How's my first time going? That’s definitely not something I should have asked, my insecurity probably made you go limp. Um. Moving on…

 

See…the CD player in my car doesn't work, which is pretty cataclysmic as Bob Marley's Legend is sitting in my side pocket waiting to be played, along with the Beatles Anthologies (all three) and some mixed tapes. The car itself is pretty crappy and really, any money put into fixing it up would end up being money wasted. So I resorted to listening to oldies stations on the radio.

 

THEN yesterday my aunt gave me a few blank cassette tapes, and it hit me… cassette tapes are the best things ever.

 

Most good music has been recorded on cassettes, with the exception of like, Youth Group, Pretty Much, The Libertines, and the few modern bands that actually have talent.

I went through all my mother's old cassettes and came up with a pretty awesome collection. Unfortunately, I found Cat Steven's Greatest Hits and America (possibly greatest hits as well?) cassette cases with the tapes nowhere to be found. It was disappointing. I did, however, get the Rolling Stones, Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Eric Clapton, Bruce Springsteen (whom of which I'm really not a fan of, but did see in concert), Billy Joel (also saw in concert),  Queen, The Eagles, etcetera. Now all I need to do is get some people together and reenact the Bohemian Rhapsody scene from Wayne's World

 

… which I can do now, because I'm cassette girl. I have technologically regressed about 10 years.

 

So that's post #1 of 5, most likely. See you tomorrow, lone reader, if you make it. Have a wonderful Monday.